This reaction would have been rein- forced by the general family attitude of despising girls. Thus by becoming a girl I would remove myself from the family and from all danger to myself. Neither of these steps ever occurred at the conscious level. I was quite una- ware of my construct of the nature and designs of my mother until it emerged during the analysis.
Other things could have reinforced this escape reaction. From my seventh to fifteenth years I was sent to boys' private boarding schools, at all of which I was a misfit because of the powerfully expressed and unconven- tional views of my parents and older brothers. I affected to despise team sports, I read far more advanced biolo- gy textbooks than was usual, and, un- like most boys of my social class and age, I had not been circumcised. At times, therefore, I was very unhappy. Becoming a girl would have removed me from this inimical environment, leading to self-preservation and reduc- tion of tension.
During adolescence and until after I was married (at twenty-seven--apart from very occasional opportunities for clandestine dressing in borrowed clothes-the state remained one of fan- tasy activity alone. Like many other transvestites, I had assumed that nor- mal heterosexual activity within mar- riage would solve the problem. (My puritanical background and family co- hesiveness had precluded premarital sexual experience.) The fantasies were partially relieved by marriage. My wife made many of her own clothes. We had many discussions about dress de- sign, and I frequently assisted in her dressmaking. I bagan to buy women's clothes for myself and to wear them as chances arose. With children in the house and an understandably unco- operative wife, the times available for dressing were, and still are, very limi- ted. A sabbatical visit to another coun- try gave me a chance of experiencing what it felf like to be dressed for a whole day at a time and for part of every day. It was during this period that I noted the decline in the fetish- ist aspect of the condition and the re- lief that accompanied the more-or-less continuous satisfaction of the compul- sion.
One transvestite's wife says that she has no difficulty in talking to me as a woman when I am in woman's clothes since I seem to her then to be a more feminine person (despite my height and very masculine and hairy hands). Although I was not aware of it myself it seems a feminisation of personality accompanies the partial feminisation of appearance.
MANAGEMENT OF TRANSVESTISM
Since there is no evidence that Transvestism is due to abnormal sex- hormone production nor that it is caused by hypersensitivity of hypo- thalamic cells to estrogen, there is no reason to believe that steroid therapy might affect the condition. Transves- tism in the male normally coexists
with full androgenic testicular activity and is not affected by continuous es- trogen therapy. Estrogens neither en- hance pre-existing transvestism nor do they reduce the power of the drive. Negative conditioning (aversion thera- py) has been tried, but with little ef- fect. One wonders, anyway, at the at- titudes of mind of those who apply or suffer such indignities. Analytical psy- chotherapy remains a potentially use- ful tool, but I doubt whether it can ever be economically justified as a therapeutic method.
To the question: "If you could be cured for all time of your transvestism by a single dose of a harmless drug, would you take it?" many transves- tites would answer a resounding "No". Despite all the difficulties of their state, they derive much pleasure and enrichment of life from dressing which they would not wish to forgo. Should society, then, aim to "cure" a person who doesn't wish to be cured, who re- gards cure as an impoverishment of his personality? The answer to this lies in the extent to which transvestism harms other people. It may well be harmful for children to grow up in an environment where there is overt con- fusion of gender identity in one of the parents, but no more so than in the confusion in which I grew up (in which the gender and sex identities of both parents were muddled). Married transvestites can, and I think should, refrain from having children. Harm to other young members of society can be avoided, and I do not see how a transvestite can possibly hurt other adults. The position of his wife must be considered. A normal marriage re- lationship clearly confers many bene- fits on the transvestite when it comes to shopping and to learning how to play his part as woman as well as man, but there is another side. One wife has spoken to me of her femininity being diminished by her husband's adoption of feminine dress and role. Some wives are happy to act as mother to their husbands (as to a daughter) when their taste needs guidance, but find they have no place left when the husband's transvestism is fully developed. If I were advising an about-to-marry trans- vestite, I would say that his fiancee must know and freely accept his con- dition, that it is his responsibility to ensure that she feels no sense of con- fusion or subsequent loss of role, and that both accept the wisdom of not having children. Many American trans- vestites will disagree with this last point, but this is another area where the American idea! of personal free- dom has gone too far, for this free- dom will infringe on the safety, hap- piness, or health of others.
TRANSVESTISM AND SOCIETY
Around the biological distinctions of the male and female sexes have col- lected the social and psychological distinctions of masculine and feminine behaviour and personality traits. While biological sex is rarely in doubt, the development of the behaviour appro-
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priate to this sex may be different in different societies. It is also open to many varieties of emotional and social pressures, and the gender identity of a developed personality may be grossly confused as a result. In any case, cer- tain areas of personality will be devel- oped and others remain latent so that sex and gender identities are aligned. Thus it is probably a reasonable assum- ption that all personalities contain masculine and feminine aspects. This idea was debeloped by C. G. Jung in the 1920's and 1930's, and he drew our attention to the need for a synthe- sis in individuals of the masculine and feminine parts of their personalities.
Aggressive and predominantly mas- culine personality traits have led to the two bouts of very destructive warfare that Western civilisation has suffered- the religious wars of the 16th and 17th centuries and the conflicts of the past 60 years. These same traits are keeping us poised on a knife edge today. These same traits have also led to the despoli- ation of our terrestrial environment which, even without a major war, may cripple or destroy civilisation in the next 50 years.
All men (and all those women who are attempting to masculinise them- selves in an attempt to liberate their sex) should realise that unbridled mas- culinity will inevitably lead to destruc- tion. What the Western world needs is a big dose of feminine conservatism and creativity- an integration of mas- culine will and feminine feeling. Only thus can both aggression and emotion be turned from destructive activitvy and work together for the conserva- tion of our environment and, therefore our civilisation.
The frequency of transvestic jokes and situations in the entertainment world leads me to believe that the drive may be weakly present in fantasy in a large proportion of the male pop- ulation and (together with the current preference of young men for long hair' be symbolic of their partial awareness of the need for integration of their dominant masculine personalities with their latent femininity. The more flor- id clinical transvestites perhaps have the drive enhanced by some particular circumstance in their development. but the urgent need remains for all members of society to achieve some measure of personal integration if we are to avoid disaster.
As long as normal people find trans- vestism disturbing or repugnant, the transvestite will remain alone in his pursuit of relief from anxiety and ten- sion. To combat the loneliness, as well as to help explain transvestism to suf- ferers, their relatives, and society as a whole, organisations have developed in various countries.
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